Author’s note: We all thought we were terribly clever taking the mickey out of George Bush. And look at who we ended up with for President.
The entertainment industry denied today that it was trivialising the war on terrorism and had reduced complex geo-political tensions to simplistic racial and religious stereotypes. The denial came from Michael Eisner, CEO of The Walt Disney Company, as he launched Disney’s latest theme park “Al Qaeda World.” The new magic kingdom contains a host of new rides, fun characters and NRA sponsored firearms appreciation classes.
Visitors to the park are welcomed by Dubyas and their fickle friends the Yewroes, who are always up to tricks and shenanigans behind the Dubyas’ backs. The Dubyas are the sworn enemies of the Talibannies, evil ugly trolls with long beards and turbans who live in a vast network of caves in the magic mountains near the entrance. The first attraction is a hide and seek style game called “Where’s Osama?” Kids take the role of Dubya’s secret agents and have to search the caves using a battery of high tech equipment for “Osama” another new character, who is the leader the Talibannies and has a larger Turban. Osama has special evil superpowers to help him evade capture, although precisely what these are remains hidden although participants are advised that they are “really, really evil”. Kids must stop him before he flees across the “border” to the evil empires of Iran or Pakistan.
The next attraction, the Talibannies Trail of Terror is based on the traditional ghost train but with an added twist. You walk round a rickety old country with destroyed religious statues, ruined building and unmarked graves and the Talibannies pop out from behind these at unexpected times and try and kidnap you. If they succeed they drag you off to their evil empire where boys and girls are separated and girls have to wear a comedy costume and play in a special area all by themselves. The boys are given a “kiddy-fun” Russian AK-47 rifle and are taken to the shooting range to shoot at “evil aggressors” or else study how to move closer to God through slaughter.
If you escape kidnap, you can then join Dubyas Fantasy Star Wars game. The idea is use a state-of-the-art missile defence program to shoot down nuclear missiles that the Talibannies hurl at you. Unfortunately, the system was designed by Goofy and it doesn’t work very well. You lose points for each Dubya town that gets hit although crashing a nuclear missile in the centre of Yewroe land has no penalty and hitting France gets extra points
At the opening of Al Qaeda World, George Bush praised Disney’s approach to educating kids about the War on Terror. He also defended the “simplistic” style of the park, adding, “At last I’ve found somewhere that speaks my language”
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