Author’s note: Ironically, I’ve forgotten why I wrote this. But it was probably in reply to some Government initiative to remember unsung heroes or similar, which led to our current obsession with rewriting the current inaccurate version of history with another inaccurate by more acceptable version of history. See The Dambuster’s memorial, for example
A report issued by The Department of Pointless Social History at Oxford University today claimed that the UK is in danger of “forgetting all those forgotten people who may have done heroic things that we didn’t know about at the time.” The report highlights the fact that throughout history, heroic acts have been carried out by ordinary members of the public in times of war or cataclysm. These went unreported and as a result very few people knew about them and they have subsequently been forgotten.
Speaking from her office at the University, the author of the report Dr Ruth Figwell asked “How can we forget the unstinting service, devotion and sacrifice of so many heroic men and women in history?” When asked to provide some examples what she meant, Dr Figwell exclaimed “Well of course I can’t, after all we haven’t got the foggiest idea who they are or what they’ve done. If I could, they wouldn’t be forgotten heroes, would they? Duh”
Major General Anthony Brinden-Barges agreed that some sort of monument and remembrance service was appropriate for all the forgotten heroes “It would be similar to the idea of the Unknown Soldier. We could set up some sort of vague, shapeless thing and stand around it once a year to not remember these brave souls.” Speaking from Downing Street a lachrymose Prime Minister welcomed the opportunity to reach out in the most heartfelt and compassionate way to everyone who’s ancestors were touched by heroism and tragedy. “After all, polls show that I get my best ratings when I giving one of my blubbing speeches”
Sex and Drugs and Growing Old 