Author’s note: I was pretty convinced that liberal, centrist capitalism would continue to sweep all before it and the threat from the far right was greatly overstated. What an idiot
As the BNP prepares to capitalise on its huge success in the local election and gear up to form the next UK Government and Jean-Marie Le Pen puts the final polish to his victory speech, the world braced itself for the almost certain appearance of the Fourth Reich.
Within countries across the world, the appearance of charismatic, wild eyed fascists bent on world domination cast a pall on the democratic process. “How can we have let this happen?” lamented Jacques Chirac, the soon to be ex-President of France. “Politicians have always behaved responsibly, we have avoided corruption and always sought to spend the peoples money wisely. We listen carefully to the views of the people from our parliament buildings in our capital cities and ensure that we issue strict centrally controlled laws to benefit local communities. And every five or so years we allow the people to vote on a wide variety of candidates with different viewpoints so that we can start all over again. How can it be possible that people feel disconnected with democracy and flirt with Fascism?”
Fortunately, the media has been quick to spot the rise of fascism and has acted responsibly by highlighting the danger in moderated manner. In the UK, the Daily Mail cleverly issued a 15 page “find-a-fascist” special, carefully highlighting each individual ward where one could “vote for a Nazi” and giving details of each candidates name so they the public could easily identify and reject them.
Governments have also responded by addressing the policies of the far right and adopting a pragmatic approach to rejecting them. “Clearly these peoples repellent approach to immigrants is just one issue which reflects their insular, closed minded policies”, explained David Blunkett, the UK Home Secretary, as he laid the ceremonial first brick in the wall to block up the Channel Tunnel and “cut off the UK from Europe and it’s hordes of benefit grabbing darkies”. Mr. Blunkett continued “Before you know it, these fascists will be massively restricting individual freedoms and controlling everything centrally. It’s important that we don’t give them that opportunity and therefore I am announcing a set of new measures to allow much greater surveillance so that we can keep a close eye on them. We shall also be providing new freedoms for anyone who rejects fascism by denying people the right to speak in support of any far right measures and lock up anyone who supports their views.”
However, new anti-immigrant measures have led to problems with processing. Each country now has a policy to deport the migrants to their neighbouring country who then moves them on to their own neighbour. “I’ve been three times round the world now” claimed Abdul Al-Sayaf as he boarded the life-raft that has been his home for the last 3 years. “And now I can’t remember which country I started in”
Ariel Sharon also condemned the rise of fascism and rejected any comparisons between his own Government’s policies towards the Palestinians and those of the far right towards immigrants. “That’s ridiculous. Everyone knows that fascists persecute Jews. It doesn’t say anything about Jews persecuting anyone else. The fact that the world is riddled with far-right psychopaths intent on world domination should in no way imply any comparison with Israel’s current policies”
Within the US, John Ashcroft announced precautionary measure to arrest potential Islamic Fundamentalists without requiring evidence against them to be revealed. Explaining the measure, he commented, “It’s important to avoid these people taking away the freedoms for which the USA is so justly famous”
Sex and Drugs and Growing Old 