Author’s note: The US was becoming increasingly annoyed that the UN would not agree to military action against Iraq, so the solution seemed pretty clear. I never finished the article, but here’s the gist of it
George Bush has announced that the US has declared the United Nations a rogue state and has initiated a “merciless campaign” against it until it capitulates to the will of democracy, freedom and the rule of law by recognising the rights of the United States to do what the Hell it likes.
As F-14 fighters strafed the United Nations headquarters in New York, a startled Kofi Annan explained to a hastily assembled press conference was that he had received a short communiqué from President Bush. The missive explained that US military intelligence had discovered that the so-called United Nations contained several members from known terrorist states including Iraq, Iran and Libya. Furthermore, it had come to its attention that even the UN Security Council was full of pinkos, commies and subversives who seemed highly unlikely to ever agree with the US on any matters of vital national security. This, the note went on, explained an awful lot about the UN’s stance on weapons inspections, pre-emptive anti-terrorist action and population control. As such, the US was left with no choice but to commence the immediate invasion and submission of the “evil and warlike” UN.
The press conference was then dispersed as several garrisons of Marines invaded the hall and announced the immediate internment of anyone with “funny sounding names.”
Sex and Drugs and Growing Old 