Author’s note: I can’t remember what spawned this brief article but probably the usual massive overreaction to some news about genetic modification
Independent tests of the recently announced cloned baby have spread terror today, by confirming that scientists are “well on the way to producing a cloned child”
Speaking to a tense and nervous press conference, Dr. Hugo Z Hackenbush, Emeritus Professor of Cloning and Newsworthy Science at Oxford University, confirmed that he had completed tests on both Mother and baby and could confirm that the child contained as much as 50% of its Mother’s genes. “This is the worst possible news” wailed Dr. Hackenbush. “It means that a bizarre cult has somehow managed to get their hands on the technology to take a person’s genes and use them to produce a child. It seems inevitable that they will soon be able to find ways to boost the percentage to two thirds and then onto 100%. Before you know it we could see any number of organisms reproducing without sexual procreation – plants, bees, fish, amphibians. It goes completely against nature – God knows where it will stop. It’s terrifying.”
As newspaper editors rushed to responsibly highlight the doomsday scenario of a nation of “cloned zombie slaves”, Dr Brigitte Boisselier, spokesperson for the Raelian cult at the centre of the scandal refused to comment, but did confirm that their formula for cloning success involved “baby oil, chocolate sauce and some aroma-therapy candles”
Sex and Drugs and Growing Old 