Author’s note: Despite months of waiting the US still hadn’t launched its invasion of Iraq by January 2003. It was inevitable, however.
Following on from the news that several movie stars have been tempted to make sequels to some of their most successful movies, including Mel Gibson in Mad Max, Sylvester Stallone in Rocky and Arnold Schwarzzeneger in Terminator, the US Government has announced that it is preparing for “the Mother of all sequels: Gulf War 2: Junior’s Revenge”
The film, which the producers hope will be an international hit, has been in preparation for several years and shooting is expected to start on or around the 11th anniversary of the first production on the 16th January. Scriptwriters have been working on the scenario for several months and the lead roles have already been cast
The original production was based on a classic conflict between the forces of good and evil and featured exciting battle scenes and a variety of hi-tech weaponry. Although criticised for it’s bathetic ending that left the hero showing mercy and turning away from the opportunity to destroy the villain, the production was an enormous success and left the door open for a sequel.
The Brains Trust has seen a leaked copy of the final script of the sequel. The hero, a simple man known only as George Jnr the self styled “Man with no brain”, is a reluctant leader forced by a grateful electorate to take up the presidency, despite no one voting for him. A shy, abstemious man, he remembers the homespun wisdom of his old pappy, who always taught him to respect the words of Kenny Rogers and “walk away from trouble if you can.”
However, he is eventually goaded into war by the blatant evil acts of the villainous Saddam Hussein and his cackling mad-side kick Osama Bin Laden. It is expected that the roles of Saddam and Osama will be played by Anthony Hopkins and Jeremy Irons respectively. Despite giving Saddam ample opportunity to turn away from evil, he continues to goad the hero by agreeing to every one of his demands. The hero’s best friend and long-time ally, Tony “The Tiger” Blair, is a square-jawed American, fearless in his protection of the most sacred US values and forever shielding his fragrant, innocent, wide-eyed wife from con-men. Light relief is provided by a group of comedy stooges known as the United Nations. The name is ironic and whenever they appear they are seen bickering, disagreeing and fighting with one another.
However, the sequel may not be the whole story. It is rumoured that the producers are eyeing up the success of trilogies such as Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Although it is still at a very early stage in pre-production they already have a working title and it is thought that the team are greatly looking forward to starting “World War 3”.
Sex and Drugs and Growing Old 